Rocky night

Last night Joey and I had a really bad night. We've kind of been tense and fighting some since I got home, but last night was the "duking it out night". Apparently he's been holding things back (ie: his feelings, emotions) because he knows how hard this is on me and he hasn't wanted to make it worse. But it (like always) came exploding out all at once. It was however, in my opinion, a well handled fight, but it was long.

Joey and I don't fight that often, but I'd say about once every 6 months we have a really big fight. I think we're getting better at them though because last night my voice wasn't soar afterwards! :-) (did you know? I tend to be a yeller!)

Anyways, we talked for a long time and we finally fell back onto the same page. As it turned out I was also holding things back from him because I felt like he would think I was silly, or annoying and he wouldn't understand. So instead I would tell my true feelings to a woman (miss, bridgit, sandi...) because they can understand me more. But he does want to know how I'm feeling, so I of course ended up letting it all out and then it was a big sob fest.

Also Joey's feeling concerned about my seeing a dr in cambridge because apparently the nurses have a reputation of spreading things around about people who work there. He's afraid everyone will know and want to talk to him about it and he'd rather keep his professional and private life seperate.

So I'm just praying that the nurse we deal with will have the good senses to keep this VERY SENSITIVE matter quiet and to herself (and the dr of course). I'm going to call my family dr in coon rapids and see if he can recomend someone down there, if he can I might move my appt. But I will not risk going through what I went through before by just chosing a dr. (aka a numbnuts!)

So that's where we're at. I'm feeling much better today, we fell asleep feeling good. I know this has mostly been about me vs Joey (because I'm the one with the huge ups and downs), but his feeilngs are important to me so I need to do what I can in this process for him.