Lately I find myself feeling insulted very easily.. people say things that they don't have a clue will hurt my feeling.. but unfortunately they do. I know people are trying to be helpful, but I am not 100% myself these days (or even close to that) and I know I let myself be stung by things I shouldn't. I know this is something I need to bring to God more heavily in prayer.. I know I'm sensitive, but I don't want to feel hurt or angry.
I also can't help but feel sad and frustrated when I hear about all the people around me getting pregnant. It feels like a slap in the face.. I know it's not! But that's how it feels. I have wondered lately if IF (infertility) is God's way of saying we're meant to adopt. Maybe we're not suppose to pursue medical treatments, maybe we shouldn't be relying on modern medicine to give us a baby. But then I think, if someone's dying, we don't think twice about relying on the advancements of modern medicine to cure as well as pray for a miracle. So is it really any different when it comes to conceiving a baby naturally?
I feel confused again today. These are the things that are burdening my heart today and I need to spend some serious time with God praying about them.. I know he has closed the door on clomid for the next cycle. We prayed the day before we went to the dr that He would give us a sense of peace or close any doors that He might not want open. As unfortunate as that dr appt was, it's hard not to wonder if that's was God's way of closing the door on this.
I hope and pray we will have a clear answer from Him. I know we'll get it, I just hope we hear it.
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