Starting to feel the defeat

Well my appt on friday was miserable.. I ended up seeing a dr that could see me that day... I had to go to coon rapids and needless to say, there was a reason his schedule was open!

He treated us terribly.. he insulted me, Joey, cambridge, the cambridge clinic, my midwife.. pretty much everyone... here's the story:

So first the nurse made a comment about how we're just a bunch of kids... okay? Why is that her business? I'm not sure. Then the dr comes in makes a comment about my age and asked how long we've been married. When I said three years he was like "wow, you got married really young!" (in a condiscending tone).

Then he asks if I have any medical conditions. I tell him I have Tourette's syndrom. He asks if I'm on meds and I say "no it's very mild I haven't been in a few years" He says "you're not going to start swearing at me are you?" I was TOTALLLY appalled!! That is a rude question for a normal person let alone for a dr. He was like "haha.. just kidding" (NOT FUNNY).

Then he rolls his eyes when I told him Joey is doing RPAP (the program that has us up in cambridge) and that's why we were working with a midwife up in cambridge.

Then he totally insulted my midwife by basically saying she was stupid for checking progesterone because HE would never check for progesterone. Then he tells me we're starting from scratch and he wants me to start CHARTING!! (um hello, I have been doing that since last summer!!) accompanied by ovulation predictor kids for THREE months before he'll start testing my levelsand even consider clomid.

I was furious.. I didn't drive down there, spend my money and waste my time to have him tell me we needed to freaking start over!!

THEN he says, well you guys are so young, don't you think you're being a little impatient?!?!?!?! I couldn't believe this guy!!! We stopped protecting 17 months ago and actively started trying 13 months ago. Who does he think he is?!

I was furious. I was sobbing by the time I left, I couldn't think straight.. I felt totally hopeful the day before about going on Clomid and feeling more like we had a plan for the situation. Now I have to wait a month to see another dr because there's no way on earth I would go back to thisguy.

He was so insensitive, rude, arrogant, disrepectful, condiscending.

GGAHGHAHGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So that's the story about friday. Also we got joey's sperm anaylisis back and they only checked his count, not motility or mophology (how fast/slow they are and to see if they're mishaped) so now we have to have another one done at a bigger clinic. Plus I found out today my Insurance doesn't cover any of this.. I knew we'd be paying for a lot.. but I thought it would at least go towards our deductible...but it doesn't.

Now I'm not sure where to go. The OB's in cambridge are older and don't deal with infertility much so I'm wondering if I should see a specialist (many people suggest this right away).. but will that cost more?! I just feel drained today.

I would appreciate any prayers....