I feel like a new person!

It's no surprise to those who know me that when God gets His hands on me, He works quickly in my life. He always has! I know that this IF process hasn't exactly been quick, but it wasn't until January that I really started dealing with it. And I KNOW that God has done a complete 180 in my life since then! I feel like a new person! And I like this person better :-).

A friend recently asked me what I felt God wanted to do with me through this infertility. This was my response:

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i think it's all about the the things he's teaching me along the way. I honestly don't think it has much to do with the end result at all, as much as the ways i'm growing along journey.

i used to have a faith that looked rock solid.. i even believed it was.. most days. But I still knew deep down it could be shattered if I didn't like the path God took me. I knew that and it was my biggest fear. Through this, He has shown me my faith WON'T shatter, because He is stronger than I and He will hold me up when I need him.

I have never felt so intune with God. I hear him constantly, and I've seen the rewards of following his instructions first hand. It's amazing!

i'm a third child and I have this thing inside me that knows how to make a situation seem the way I want it, or go the way I want it... I can make things happen, which can be a good thing, but it can be a bad thing too. God has shown me in a huge way that I CAN'T and SHOULDN'T control all things. Only HE is the One who knows the answers and plans, and that I need to let go of that part of me and trust him. I am His and His alone.

and TRULY in a way I've never known before, His grace is sufficient for me.

I found out My sister is pregnant with her fourth child. it was the lowest blow I EVER imagined possible during this journey. And yet I can't even begin to explain all the healing I know has taken place in my heart in just a few weeks.

I'm just a different person, I have a new attitude, new perspective and a new faith. And even when Infertility ends, I know the teaching will just continue. Maybe not as concentrated as during this time, but God's been doing some real work at the core, and that won't change. And I wouldn't want it to.

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God has done more things in my life than I EVER imagined possible... in such a short period of time! He brought me to this place where I know without a doubt I will never leave His side and He will never leave mine! I don't know what our future holds for us, I don't know when a baby will be a part of our lives, but that's not what this is about. Not at all.