I asked Him for healing, so I shouldn't be surprised!

Well my prayers last night went something like this:

"Lord, my flesh would desire to stay angry, and bitter, and sad about my sister. But I know better, and in my spirit, I know that I should only ask for healing on my heart. So that I may move past this and continue to love my sister with the love I always have (and more!). Here's the thing, I've been known to mess things up in the past (ie: push away my pregnant loved ones), and it's all the more crucial I don't do that with my sister, so I'm going to need this healing, like yesterday."

So that was last night, I shouldn't be surprised at all that the God who created me, the God who loves me more than life itself, the God who desires nothing more than for me to be in a relatioship with Him filled with love and worship, would allow me to heal over night. I don't doubt I will have emotional times where Satan will use my sister's pregnancy to attack me again. But for today, I have surrendered to Christ. He has given me a freedom from the bitterness my heart held within.

I am a new woman, and I love my sister with more of a Christ-like love than I ever knew possible. I admire her for the love and Grace she has shown me through this process. She has every right to have another child of her own and be excited with the news. Instead she sobbed when she told me and I could see the ache in her heart for me as she watched me receive the news. I am ashamed at how quickly I allowed Satan to defeat me with the news. But it's a good thing God works quickly in me!

I praise you Lord, you are an amazing Father who knows exactly what I need. I surrender this battle to you, you know the best for me and I know your plans are for good. Thank you for your never ending love for me. Thank you for the instant healing you have shown me.

And to my wonderful sister Melissa. I love you more than you know, I will NEVER stop loving you and I will love this child as if it were my own (unless you want to give it to me, in which case it WILL be my own!) JK. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for your constant prayers for me and constant support. While I can't understand how you can be so fertile while I remain UNfertile, that's another story :-) I guess I got the height, and you got the eggs! :-) I love you.