In the summer of 2005, shortly before Joey and I started TTC I was in a Beth Moore bible study at church. In the study book I was asked to be real with God and tell Him what I was afraid of, this is what I wrote:
"I am afraid my faith isn't real. I'm afraid that if I endure a hardship my faith will fall and I will be proven a fraud: to myself, my family and worst... My God."
How could I not have seen? Clearly God would allow me to endure suffering as I basically ASKED for it!!!
In the words of Homer Simpson "DOH!" lol.
I cannot regret what I said to Him. How could I? God has brought me so far and shown me so much... and without infertility, I don't know I would have allowed him to bring me where I am today.
So although I pray the suffering will be over soon, I asked for it! And my fears were relieved. My faith is real. This relationship with my God is beautiful and true and I will never again question that... He has shown me.
For that I am thankful.
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5 comments:
I am on the edge of my seat here--I've checked in daily to see the verdict...praying and KNOWING that God has a plan He will reveal to you soon.
We recently brought our son home from Guatemala, and we are looking into a domestic next since GT is on the outs right now.
Just wondering if you could recommend an agency (preferrably, not the one who took your money!)
Thanks for any advice you can offer,
Sabrina Hill
jasonandsabrina@verizon.net
aprayerforyou.blogspot.com
Just amazing! I love when He proves us wrong! You have amazing faith. I hope you get the news today you've been waiting so long for.
Hi Rachel:
It's amazing how God listens and shows us His strength and how much we can achieve through Him: Things we would never have been able to do or dream of overcoming without Him. I can't imagine how people who don't have God can get through life. Stand strong in your faith: You guys are definitely deserving of being parents :-)
"Then you will have success if you are careful to observe the decrees and laws that the LORD gave Moses for Israel. Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or discouraged."
1 Chronicles 22:13
Wow, I don't think I ever thought about that before. I wonder if I somehow asked God for this too! I love that you have this eternal perspective and can see the good from this struggle. We are praying that you get good news today and that you hear sooner, rather than later!
I know exactly what you are talking about :) Girl, I truly admire your faith.
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