It's my party and I'll cry if I want to....

Oh wait!! I'm not crying today :-) It's my birthday! Last night Joey lured me to applebees and low and behold were almost all the women on my mom's side of the family! It was SOOO much fun! It was such a wonderful night :-)

And today is my actual birthday and it's already a great day!!!

Want to see what's inside of me?!

These are our embryos! This is the life that was created between Joey and I! Isn't that amazing?

So this is my uterus (perty aint she?) See those tiny little white dots with the arrow pointing to it? Those are our embies inside me!!!!

Hair!

So I'm back to blonde! :-) I can't seem to make up my mind but playing with your hair is fun! Thanks again Megan for the treat!!!

And I'm out of bed!

So my very uncomfortable abdominal pain continued through last night and a bit into this morning. When I called my nurse she said it was from OHSS (ovarian hyper stimulation syndrome-fun!) and I should stay in bed another day or two if I could. So I stayed in bed all day Monday and the first part of yesterday. I was up quite a bit yesterday but still felt yucky when I went to bed.

But this morning I'm up and showered and working! I work at Caribou tomorrow at 5am (gulp!) so I figured I better get up today and practice being normal again!

So far so good! I feel pretty good!

I used to be able to suck my stomach in....

If I remember way back to January before we started all this IVF stuff, I think I could actually suck in my stomach. To a size I was happy with. I think!?

But these days, there's no sucking in to be happening. NONE! It's ridiculous I look 4 months pregnant! Which would be cute... if I were 4 months pg!

I have a feeling this bloat will never go away, but I remind myself that can't be true! Can it?

How am I doing?

Well I'm VERY greasy in the hair, I've exceeded my lazy limit, I'm slimy in places I shouldn't be and I have watched more movies in the last three days than I have in the last two years.

But we're having fun! Joey's continued to wait on me hand and foot, play games and watches movies with me.

We've had several amazing friends bring us meals (YUM!) and I always win the games, so I'm pretty happy!

I can't wait to shower tomorrow though, but in the meantime things are good!

ps in case you didn't know I was put on strict bedrest and not allowed to shower.

"How do they know I don't hate you?"

Okay, so I've had several people comment on our "love" and how much Joey obviously loves me (which is true I can't deny it!). Well each time I read that I also read it to Joey.

Today I got an email from a friend who was going on and on about how much we love each other (always fun to read!) so I'm reading it to Joey and he says:

"How do they know I don't hate you?" lol... he's such a dork, always wanting to look like the bad guy when truly he's the NICEST!

So I decided to share some Joey stories.

-when we were in HS every girl I know had a crush on him, but he was truly the nicest guy so no one dated him (you know, liking the bad guy complex) When we started dating everyone admitted they had wanted to date/marry him at some point! lol

-when we first starting liking each other I had a boyfriend. He was a good guy but not for me and as we were pretty much ending it became obvious Joey and I liked each other. Joey never had a GF so it was all new territory for him. One night I came out and said "joey do you like me?" And he hmmed and haaaed and finally said with the cutest eyes "I'm sorry!" because he knew I had a boyfriend! lol he felt so bad for liking me!

-about 10 months after we'd been dating, the guy I had been dating before Joey (who I stayed friends with, after he got over me choosing another guy) came right out and asked "Do you think you'll marry Joey?" I said "we'll see" and HE said "well you better! He's perfect for you!" This coming from the guy I dumped for Joey!!! Even he knew....

-After we'd been dating a month I went to a camp for a whole month. I got a letter EVERY SINGLE day from him, and many times packages including necessities for camp. All the girls were jealous ;-)

-The first semester I went back to college after we started dating (starting dating in the summer) he sent me flowers probably 4 times!

-I am a hard person to surprise so he spent FIVE MONTHS planning our engagement and working out all the details with my family and roommates. All so it would be perfect and I'd be surprised!

-When Joey watches America's Funniest Home Videos it is a site for everyone around. TRULY! He laughs so hard and so loud and so long that you'd think the funniest thing had ever happened known to mankind. But nope it's just AFV. I could listen to him laugh like that all day long.. it's so funny. Even my friends love it!

-This morning when I stirred for a split second he came out of his sleep and said to me "what do you need?! tell me, your wish is my command!" and he meant it!

-When we're eating, if there's an ugly piece of pizza, or pie or anything slightly burnt, he makes sure I get the pretty one. He'd NEVER let me have the gross one!

-When I talk with my middle school youth ministry girls about boys, I tell them that until they meet someone as wonderful as Joey, or someone who will adore them as much as he adores me, they shouldn't settle. Anything less will just break their heart.

-My dad is wonderful, he is very much like Joey in so many ways. One day my mom was explaining to me what it was like when she married him (before Joey and I were dating) and she even said "I married MY Joey W!" I guess he's the standard!

-We had 2 leftover pancakes from last week in the freezer and I asked if he'd be willing to toast them for me and he didn't understand why I would want leftovers when he could make me as many brand new pancakes as I wanted!

-My birthday is this coming Friday and Joey decided to surprise me early since I had to be on bed rest with a 19 inch flat screen TV for our bedroom (that we've been wanting!) so I could have it during bed rest. Then when I told him it was too much ($$) I said I'd put my birthday money towards it. He said absolutely not (even though I still will) and that he was putting his leftover Christmas money towards it! (which I said absolutely not to!!)

So that's my Joey. He is more wonderful than I ever knew when I met him and every day he continues to amaze me. I know our kids will have HIGH standards when they start dating because of their dad and I just wanted to share a bit of how wonderful he really is :-)

I really praise God every day for him. He is my true gift.

Now if you've made it to the bottom of this post share YOUR wonderful significant other story :-)

What is an 8 cell embryo?

I've had several people ask so I should explain!

So when a sperm and egg combine it creates a 1 celled embryo. It's how we all start out! But approximately every 24 hours it doubles. So the next day it should be 2 celled and the next 4 celled.

Well yesterday we had 4 -4 celled embryos. They were progressing as they should be. By today it would be ideal for both of them be be 8 celled embryos, indicating that they were moving along healthily and perfectly. However today we had 2- 8 celled embryos (perfect!) and the other two had stopped progressing and died.

So for them to be 8 cells today means they're exactly as they should be! Hopefully they continue to double! Until... well I don't know when they stop doubling! But you get the point :-)

Dear Embabies

You are my babies and I am your mommy. Your daddy and I created you, you are made from us, and more than you'll ever understand we love you so much already.

And while I hate to start in with "because I'm your mommy and I say so..." here's the deal; I know what's best for you. And what's best is for you to get cozied up in me and plan on staying awhile. And if you knew how much I loved you wouldn't even bother making other plans, but just in case I'm pulling it out...

"I'm your mommy and I know what's best for you!"

I hope to see both of you in 9 months!

:-)

Get in my belly!

That's what I said to my embies this morning :-) lol... JK.

But today we had 2 perfect 8 celled embryos that transferred into me. Unfortunately our other two didn't make it :-(

And the two that they put back were ICSI'd ones.

So now we wait! I'm on bed rest until Sunday and we hope and pray that the life put back inside me decides I'm worthy of calling home!

1st PIO shot done!

Oh you thought I was done with daily shots did you? WRONG! From now until what might feel like an eternity (8-10 more weeks if I get pg!) I will get daily shots of progesterone in oil. Yes OIL! It's a thick lovely substance that hijacks my bottom 1x every day...

It shall be a lovely endurance if I get pg. But if not.. I might change it from PIO to PITA!

Dr Joe... who's also training for a marathon... hence the clothes!

Another match bites the dust.

Yes you read that right, we were chosen by yet another birth mom. While we're elated that another woman finds us worthy of raising her child, we had many reasons to feel hesitant about the situation. First she's due 10/2. So basically 7 months from now. Second she needs upfront birth mother expenses of about $1000 a month (all done through the agency of course).

While we would be willing to pay the expenses and help her out, we cannot afford to pay that amount every month between now and October and know she could change her mind. The risk was far too great for us.

So we said no. We were told we were matched on Monday and we have spent several days praying about it, but when we realized today the amount we would be risking for 7 long months, without hesitation we knew we could say no.

Fertilization report

It's not horrible... but we only got 4 embies. All 20 eggs were mature and they ICSI'd 12 and naturally fertilized the other 8.

3 ICSI'd and 1 fertilized naturally.

The reason I guess so many didn't fertilize was because there was an issue with the sperm. She said they were very round in form and most were missing the acryzome that contains the DNA to create an embryo.

Pray for Joey, I hope this isn't too hard for him to hear. We still have 4 perfect embies growing!

So the plan is we're doing to do a 3dt tomorrow at 8:30, there's a chance she said it'll be a 5dt on Sunday though. We'll find out tomorrow around 7am. But we're planning on tomorrow.

Now I'm just VERY VERY VERY happy that we had 20 eggs. If I'd only had 6 we might have ended up with 1 or 0 embies :-(

And I'm praying very hard that the other 2 will be able to be frozen. I want all of them to have a chance at life.

A c omment on the slideshow....

So I posted the slide show on the nest and I got lots of comments saying people cried. Well I though it was so funny because it didn't make me emotional one bit (even though I loved it!)! Well this is what a girl wrote about that:

"OK I cried too. I think it's because Rachel - you take something that is so hard and that so many people "hide" because there is a stigma attached to IVF - and you make it meaningful and even beautiful -- and worthy of documentation -- and it becomes so obvious that it is NOT something to hide - it is part of an important journey. I think it's a beautiful video. I wish more people could see it - and begin to understand more about IVF and infertility.

You two are darling."

I thought that was so true.... IF and IVF is NOT shameful and it's the way we'll (hopefully) create our babies, it's our beautiful story! I was so glad she wrote that to me, and I had to share.

I heart Yuckabees

Okay, so when our niece Ella was like 2 1/2, she couldn't say Charlie. So she called him Yarlie. Well we thought it was so cute we sometimes called him that too. Well since we also called him Chuck, it sort of let into Yuck. Well before you know it, one thing lead to another and we started calling him Yuckabees.

Yes.

We are those people.

That have 8 million nicknames for their dog.

I hang my head in shame.

But all that to say he's doing great and here are some pics of the poor pup all stitched up! And I do heart my yuckabees :-)


No he's not laying around reading "90 minutes in Heaven"... lol. However I am reading it and love it!



Even though he's really cute in the halo.. it only lasted for like ten minutes! He apparently prefers to be muzzled when he has to be alone!



Joey said in three weeks when his stitches come out we should take him to the groomer, point to his back end and say "can you fix this please? We'll be back in a few hours" lol.... poor dog is going to look embarrassing back there for quite a while!

Pictures from ER.....

My SIL, Bridgit came and took pics yesterday of the ER (not actual procedure) and put them in a slideshow. I must warn you I look BEYOND hideous in the pics and I was VERY VERY out of it when I first came out of the procedure so please don't judge my nastiness :-)

Click Here

Back from ER!!!

They were able to get 20 eggs, so we're really excited about that. I was in a lot of pain afterwards and felt very nauseous, but I feel MUCH better now that I'm back home. My SIL came and took pics and video of the whole thing (not the actual procedure) so I'll have to post some when I get those from her.

Thanks for all the well wishes! We get our first fertilization report on Thursday!

Bring on the pampering!!

Okay, I admit I've been spoiled by Joey. He takes amazing care of me and daily tells me how proud he is me for all I'm going through. He's just wonderful...anything I need, he gets it.

But now comes a new kind of pampering! Remember the awesome friend who gave me a spa GC? Well I made my appt for Thursday for a foil and massage! I can't wait!! My hair grows way too fast and I was just thinking how I couldn't afford highlights but desperately need a touch up! So this will be perfect :-)

So it'll be a great day! I've never done a "spa day" before!

Trigger TONIGHT!!!!

So today at the appt the nurse came in and goes "I hear you're the girl with all the follicles" lol.. I was like, yep that's me! And then the u/s tech was like "dang you've got follicles in every nook and cranny of your ovaries!" haha.. so I was being a pain again today but who cares I'm ready to go tonight!!!

So at the appt everything looked awesome! My follies are getting really big! We went from 3 that were mature yesterday to 16 today! So hopefully we'll get even more mature ones by Tuesday since I still have so many in there and that's when the EGG RETRIEVAL IS!!!!!!

I'm so excited it's getting so real. My SIL Bridgit is going to come to the ER and document the occasion (she's a photographer) and I'm super excited to have that done! My Dr was really cool about it too, she won't be in there for all of it, but some of it!

So that's that. I took another nap and was completely groggy when the nurse called but now I have more energy and we're going to Olive Garden to finally use a GC we got from Christmas :-)

Feeling terrible!!! But getting ready.

Ever wonder what it feels like to have 30 some follies growing in you? Like your ovaries have been replaced by grapefruits. :-0

My u/s went good today, she said everything was perfect, my E2 was 1970 and I have a ton of follies between 14-19 (I think we counted about 30?). So I skipped my pm meds and will skip am meds and have another u/s in the morning. She said she's sure I'll trigger tomorrow night and have ER on Tuesday!

So that's good... but I just wish I didn't feel so crappy. I've been in bed all day and I hurt when I move. During my U/S I was VERY uncomfortable as she was having a hard time reading the follies on my left side so she was repeatedly pushing on my soon to explode ovaries. It hurt so bad I thought I was going to pass out, and I couldn't breath! But Joey said I didn't even flinch so that's good! :-)

But I took a three hour nap and feel ready for bed again (at 8:30 pm).... so it's been a lazy weekend!